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The Fremergency Fronfract/Transcript
(Open showing an huge tooth with an blue structure which has the giant letters "D.D.S" on top of it, Lord Hater then screams loudly from inside, causing the entire planet to shake. Zoom in into the building, showing Lord Hater with various metal objects and many cotton rolls in his mouth. A mouth-headed dentist, Dr. Scrivellix, is trying to treat Hater's chipped tooth.) Scrivellix: Whoopsee, that is one corker of an chipped tooth! How did this happen? Hater: That thupid dumb nobad, Vander, hebbe dabba toof! (Translation: That stupid dumb Nomad, Wander, he ripped out my tooth!) (He knocks Scrivellix away, slamming him against the wall.) Hater: Vander, Vander, VANDER!! Scrivellix: A-a-a-all righty. This should help calm you down. (He opens the "gas tank" next to him to reveal a spider-like monster.) Scrivellix: You might feel the teensiest stinging sensation. (He zaps Hater's mouth with it.) There we go, there we go. (He stops; Hater calms down, eyes bulging.) Hater: (dopey) Nder...Wander... (Hater's perspective, the mouth nurse arrives as his eyes start to close.) Nurse: Excuse me, Mr. Hater? Can I get the name of your emergency contact to come pick you up? Hater: (dopey, echoing) Wander... (His eyes fully close, cutting to black.) Wander: (voiceover, echoing) Wakey wakey, Hatey no more toothache-y! (Hater's eyes open, revealing Wander, Sylvia and Scrivellix before him. He snaps and stands up, surging.) Hater: (ferociously) YOU... (then, dopily) I know you! (hugs them) What are you guys doing here? Wander: We came to pick you up! You listed us as your emergency contact! Hater: Wha...? (The title appears, freeze-frame.) Hater: Well, if you're my uh, fremergency fronfract, then we must be best friends! (Wander smiles.) Scrivellix: There's a slight chance the sting of the painkillers scrambled his brain a bit. It should wear off. But until then, it's important you see that he gets home safe. (Wander nods, Hater hugs he and Sylvia again.) Hater: I love you guys! Sylvia: Okay, this is weird. (Wander squeals over-excitedly and smiles in turn; a twinkle from it fades the view to white.) (Cut to Wander and Sylvia in the orbble with a dopey Hater.) Wander: I know, I know. Hater's not actually my best friend. That's just a gajillion volts of electric squid talking. Hater: My mouth feels like purple! Sylvia: Exactly. Wander: And the smart thing to do: is get Hater safely back to his ship. (As Wander says this, Hater got out of the orbble.) Sylvia: Yup. Wander: It's not like having a day of fun with us would cause Hater to realize being a good guy is way better than being a bad guy. (Hater is seen floating freely inside the orbble at the background.) Sylvia: That would be crazy. Wander: I know! Maybe this bonding experience would actually make us become best friends and we can hang out and help people, and have our own secret friend language, and people will be like: "What are they talking about?" Sylvia: What are you talking about? Wander: And I'd be like: "Glee-bibble-glorp, Hatey!" and he'd be all: (in deep voice, imitating and resembling Hater) "Slamdibble-doo, Wandey!" Hater: (offscreen:) Hey! (Wander and Sylvia look around, before spotting Hater in front of a building.) Quit your jibber-jabber and let's go have some fun! Slamdibble-doo! Wander: (squeals) SORRY, SYL. BUT I'M HOLDIN' OUT HOPE FOR HATER!! (Wander runs to Hater, leaving Sylvia trapped in a small orbble.) Sylvia: Sigh. (Cut to inside of Gelatinous Bob's. Hater bursts in, roaring.) '' '''Patron:' It's Lord Hater! (Everyone runs away, screaming.) Hater: 'Games, prizes, people, pizza, ice cream! ''(talks fast:) '' I want a fudgy-pudgy blorp-berry swirl with nuts and chocolate sprinkles and rainbow sprinkles and nuts! And no skimpy scoops! ''(The worker gives him a huge stack of ice cream. He gives to Hater while his hand is shaking. Hater takes it, his mouth turns into a shape of an ice cream cone, then he gulps it down in just one bite. Then his jaw freezes.) 'Hater: ' (screams and exhales an icy breath) My tooth! Too cold! (lies on the ground and hides in his cloak.) '''Wander: Oh, it's okay, buddy. (Hater comes out from his cloak) Hey, you wanna play some games? Hater: Uh-huh. (Hater stands up, then links his hands with Wander and skips to the left. Sylvia is documenting this into her phone.) Sylvia: 'Heh heh. ''(at the camera:) Ah, maybe today won't be so bad after all. (turns to her phone) And posted. (Cut to Hater and Wander playing a crane game.) '''Wander: Left. No, a right. A little down. Okay, go! (Hater grabs a skull ring.) ''Come on, come on! Yeah! '''Hater:' Ooh, scary skull ring. Look out. It's coming to get you. Wander: 'I'm not afraid of that. '''Hater: '''I know it's not that scary. Come on pal! ''(Sylvia posted another video to her blog.) '''(Song: Gelatinous Bob's) Singer: Here we go! People, pizza, ball pit, friendship, Twisty slide, music, arcade, cheesy dip, Ice cream, soda pop, corn on the cob, We got it all at Gelatinous Bob's! Bo-Bo-Bo-Bo-Bob's! Bo-bo-bo-bo-Bob's! Bo-Bo-Bo-Bo-Bob's! Bo-bo-bo-bo-Bob's! Bo-Bo-Bo-Bo-Bob's! Bo-bo-bo-bo-Bob's! We got it all at Gelatinous Bob's! We got it all at Gelatinous Bob's! Gelatinous Bob animatronic: Joey Protozoa. What's worse than finding a space worm in your apple? Joey Protozoa animatronic: I don't know, Gelatinous Bob. Gelatinous Bob animatronic: Finding a half space worm in your apple. 'Cause the other half is probably devouring your insides. (Everyone laughs. Sylvia posted another video of Hater into her blog.) (The streamers pop out.) Hater: Whoa! That's the coolest thing I've ever seen. (Cut to Crystalline 7. The sun rises and a rainbow shines on the crystals.) Hater: 'Whoa! That's ''way better! (voiceover:) Can you hear my thoughts, my buddy from a distant star? I'm not even sure I even know who you are. Look at me, like a kid out of school, hanging out with a fool. A fool who I think is actually kinda cool. '''Wander: '''I don't think he knows he's talkin' out loud. '''Sylvia: (with her phone) ''I'm counting on it. '''Hater: '(points to his drool) ''Why am I staring to drool? '''Sylvia: '''Okay, this has been fun. And more importantly, hilarious. But we ''really ''have to take him back. '''Wander: '''But he hasn't tried to destroy us once all day. '''Sylvia: 'But who knows how long his brains'll stay scrambled? You can't force him to be something he's not. Wander: 'But what if this is our chance to prove that deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, ''(in deep voice:) deep, deep, deep, deep, deeeeeep down, (normal voice:) Hater's an okay guy? (We hear a sound of a little girl screaming.) 'Sylvia: '''Because he's not! '''Wander: '''No! Bad Lord Hater! Bad! 'Olive: (giggles) Thanks for the boost, Mr. Hater. Hater: 'No problem, Olive. Good luck on that spelling test. ''(He suddenly feels a pain in the stomach.) Ow, ow, ow, ow! What is this warm feeling inside? Is it heartburn? '''Wander: ''(exits from the bottom then enters from the balcony)'' That's the feeling you get from helpin' folks. Hater: Wow! I wanna help more! (Wander squeals overexcitedly again like he did earlier, then hugs Hater.) Sylvia: (turns to camera) This day can't get any weirder. (Song: Hater Makes It Better) "Elvis": One two three four! Yeah, Hater's on the sidewalk, Helpin' Granny cross the street. He's in a restaurant, Pullin' out a lady's seat. Stop a train crash, Take out the trash, Found a needle in the haystack, Scratch an armadillo's back. Raise a barn, Protect an egg, Show an elderly man How to email a jpeg. Stop some crime, Solve a paradox in time, Help me come up with an uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh— Wander, Sylvia and Hater: Rhyme? "Elvis": Thank you, friends! Chaperone a prom, Calm a mom, Lend a friend a lip balm, Then we spruce up the theme song! (Cut to a parody of the show's theme song) Here we go now! Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Hater makes it better! Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Hater makes it better! Hater! Hater! Makes it! Makes it! Makes it better! Boy and howdy! Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Hater makes it better! Wander: 'Whoa! 'Commander Peepers: (from inside the ship, amplified:) Lord Hater? Sir? (They scramble away, hiding behind a rock.) ''Are you down there? '''Hater: '''What is that thing? It looks... ''(squinting his eyes) familiar. Wander: '''It's nothing. Look away! What should we do? Run away! No, stay perfectly still. No, let's check him for cavities so that dentist will zap him so loopy that he'll stay nice from now on. '''Hater: '''I don't wanna go up there. It's scary! I wanna stay and have fun with my best friend, Sunshine Banjo Face! '''Sylvia: ''(lowers her phone)'' Oh, he must have been zapped harder than I thought. Hater: 'Ooh, I know! All we have to do is dishwash the tinkle kitten until the bandage is impossible, and we're floppin' crone scone. ''(flops to the ground) 'Wander: '''No, we gotta take you back. I wanna be your friend, but not like this. True friendship comes from the heart, not from an electric squid to ''the face. (leading Hater to his ship) ''Come on, pal. I had a fun day with you. But a true emergency contact delivers his friend home safe. ''(Wander lets Hater go, but Hater backs away a few steps.) 'Wander: '''I know you don't want to, but you gotta go. We'll be fine. ''(Hater just stares at Wander sadly.) '''Wander: (sobs) It's over! Go on, get! (Wander turns his back on Hater. Briefly cuts to a sad Sylvia.) Wander: Leave us alone! (Hater whimpers, then gives Wander a hug. Tears stream down Wander's face.) Wander: (angrily, yet sorrowfully) We don't wanna hang out with you, ya... ya big dummy! (Once again, Wander turns back on him. Hater whimpers, takes off the skull ring, and throws it to the ground.) Hater: (crying) (Hater runs away, then trips briefly. The ship notices him, then "slurps" him back into the ship.) (Wander picks up the ring and wears it on his finger. Sylvia walks to besides him sadly.) Wander: I just hope we rubbed off on him a little bit. (They hug.) (Cut to the ship.) Peepers: Good to have you back, sir. And just in time for our full-scale invasion of Crystalline 7. (The ship stops at Crystalline 7. Many people run away and screaming as the Watchdogs marching. Olive screams.) Hater: Wha...? Invasion...? (The people are surrounded by the Watchdogs.) Hater: THAT'S NOT NICE! (He shoves Peepers away and presses on various buttons. Cut to the outside, where the lasers off as it fires the Watchdogs. The second verse of "Hater Makes It Better" plays.) Peepers: SIR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! SIIIIIIR!!!! (The Watchdogs are blasted away. Some are running away and screaming. One Watchdog is on fire, screaming.) Hater: ' Yip bi di dit bip, Hater makes it better! ''(Cut to an overview of the ship's laser firing Crystalline 7, with Wander and Sylvia watching. They smile at each other, then Wander holds up the skull ring as the screen flashes to white.) (Fade in to show Hater waking up, screaming. He is now back to his normal self.) '''Hater: ''(blinks twice) Oh, thank goodness. It was all just a bad dream. '''Peepers:' (scoffs) If only, sir. If only. (Wide out to show many Watchdogs are injured. Peepers pulls out his phone and shows Hater the video Sylvia posted.) Hater (on phone): Hangin' out with a fool. A fool who I think is actually kinda cool. Why am I starting to drool? Hater: WANDERRRRRRRRRRR!!! ''(clenches his teeth, causing them to break)'' (Screen cuts to black.) Category:Transcripts